My Second Table Topics Speech

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This week, I had my second table topics speech, and I made a real hash of it.

Unlike the first time, where I’d had some prompting from Helen (our then president), this time I was called up without any time to think about it.

And I was told I should talk about the worst job I’d ever had to do.

Which should’ve been easy enough. I was clear on what it was: working in a pea factory in Scotland. Now, this was a truly awful job, and there are a whole host of memorable and funny anecdotes I could’ve drawn on.

But my knees went to jelly, my mind to jam and I couldn’t remember anything much. So I blubbered on about the peas till the yellow light was lit, and I felt I’d done enough to be excused.

Pretty poor show, but at the end I felt relieved. After all, I’d not done very well but my first “cold” table topics speech was over. It hadn’t killed me. And I could live to fight another day.

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